2025-08-12T09:12:44Z

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Ever wondered what your baby would say if they could leave a product review? Well, get ready for a wild ride! Comedian Ross Pomerantz, known online as Corporate Bro, just went viral with his comedic take on parenting, comparing his four-month-old baby to an expensive subscription service. Spoiler alert: parents everywhere are nodding, chuckling, and saying, “Yep, that’s accurate!”

In a side-splitting Instagram video that’s racked up an astonishing 17 million views, Pomerantz kicks things off with a cheeky introduction: “What’s up everyone? Here’s my four-month product review of this baby.” He humorously notes that the delivery process takes a whopping nine months, but once the baby arrives, it’s a game-changer that exceeds all expectations.

Pomerantz dives into the specifics, praising the “super lightweight” frame and “surprisingly durable” construction of his newborn, along with the delightful “chef’s kiss” scent that only a baby can have. He admits the learning curve is steep—because let’s face it, figuring out which cry means “I’m hungry” can feel like cracking a complex algorithm. But once you get it, it’s “pretty intuitive.”

One of the standout features? The “smile feature,” which he describes as a “game-changer” that delivers an instant dopamine hit every single time. But, like any product, it has its downsides. Battery life lasts about 90 minutes, and the “sleep mode” comes with its fair share of bugs—Pomerantz jokingly suggests these issues will be patched in the next update.

Performance-wise, he calls his baby “a machine” that processes milk at lightning speed, converting it directly into energy and growth. He likens this rapid learning to having your own personal AI model—though he comically adds, “if LLMs also peed on you.” Other features he highlights include “enterprise-grade adorability,” “advanced grip functionality,” and “surprisingly good audio,” though he does wish the volume could be dialed down a notch.

His final verdict? The “cuddle feature” alone justifies the “premium pricing,” despite the “resource-intensive” maintenance that comes with it. “I would definitely recommend this product for families,” Pomerantz concludes. “They require significant investment, but it’s worth it.”

The comments section is filled with parents who totally vibe with his humor. One user quipped, “Best supporting actor goes to the product,” while another reminisced about their own experiences, saying, “I got the 2006 version. The first few updates were fantastic!” Others chimed in about the lack of customer support and the quirks of different “models” as they navigate the wild world of parenting.