2025-08-20T04:00:00Z

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Imagine being just nine years old, and already feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders—this was Alyson Stoner's reality when a wardrobe assistant on set cruelly criticized her for having dark leg hair. This moment spiraled her into a lifelong battle with societal beauty standards and self-acceptance.

Stoner, known for her roles in Disney hits like Cheaper By the Dozen and Camp Rock, was thrust into the spotlight at a young age. By the time she was nine, she was already working in an industry that demanded perfection, leading her to view her body as a project to be controlled and manipulated against the harsh beauty ideals presented to her. “I started to view my body in a detached way where it was just something to control, to fix, to manipulate for whatever standard was presented to me,” she recalls. This detachment would haunt her throughout her teenage years, culminating in an eating disorder that required intensive treatment.

Stoner's journey doesn’t stop there. As they navigated the tumultuous waters of child stardom, they turned to evangelical Christianity in search of solace, undergoing conversion practices in an attempt to suppress their true identity as a queer individual. Today, at 32, Stoner has embraced their identity and is on a mission to advocate for mental health awareness, sharing their life experiences through their memoir, Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything, which highlights the unique struggles faced by child actors in Hollywood.

In her memoir, Stoner unpacks the bizarre and often damaging aspects of growing up in the entertainment industry—where young performers are treated like commodities, expected to display professionalism while also navigating the emotional minefield of childhood. The industry's obsession with youth and beauty made it clear that Stoner's worth was often measured by how closely she could fit into the mold of what was deemed 'acceptable.' She recalls being told to hide from the sun to prevent her skin from getting any darker, a reflection of the extreme lengths the industry would go to maintain its rigid beauty standards.

Stoner poignantly describes the pressures that accompany child stardom: “The livelihoods of adults—parents, agents—depend on you.” This environment is rife with unrealistic expectations and a frightening lack of autonomy for the child performers. Stoner recounts a terrifying experience where their team almost sent them to meet a supposedly terminally ill fan, only for it to turn out to be a potential kidnapper.

As Stoner navigated her career, she was left to grapple with the emotional fallout of rejection and the overwhelming need to conform. Despite her success, she struggled profoundly with self-esteem issues, feeling as though her worth was tied to her roles and public perception. “When you are the product, it’s like, well, what’s wrong with me?” she reflects. The constant cycle of auditions and rejections was exhausting, and the pressure to succeed only amplified as she entered her teenage years. Stoner describes the confusion of having to “seduce” casting directors at just 13 years old, a surreal and painful expectation for any child.

Throughout her teenage years, Stoner felt trapped in a performance mode. Rather than allowing her to experience childhood, the industry stripped her of normal experiences, forcing her to navigate adult-like pressures at an age where she should have been free to explore her identity. The pressures of fame led her to a dangerous obsession with exercise and food, ultimately resulting in her seeking help at 17.

After years of compliance, Stoner sought treatment and began to reclaim her life and identity beyond the Hollywood facade. She transitioned from acting to becoming a mental health advocate and even started her own podcast, Dear Hollywood, where she bravely discusses her past and the experiences of other child stars. Stoner is passionate about raising awareness for the mental health challenges faced by young performers, advocating for the need for mental health coordinators on set, similar to intimacy coordinators for physical scenes.

Reflecting on her tumultuous journey, Stoner has developed a profound understanding of success, fame, and the fleeting nature of both. With the insights she’s gained, she aims to empower others to make choices that prioritize mental health and personal well-being over societal expectations. “I got to see the folly of the illusion much sooner,” she states, echoing the realization that true contentment comes from within, not from the glitz of Hollywood.

Ultimately, Alyson Stoner's story is one of resilience and self-discovery. Through her memoir, she not only shares her experiences but also invites readers to question the toxic standards of the entertainment industry and advocate for a brighter future for young performers.